Picking up broken glass
by DreamsAreMadeOfVampires
Summary: Charlie is attacked by Victoria and Bella has an unexpected reaction the worries ALL of the cullens. By the way I am in the process of moving so the chapters aren't very long youll get the story but I need to do it in smaller increments to help my thought
1. No

Disclaimer: All of the characters in this story are property of Stephenie Meyer.

"Bella?" I heard his voice, soft and sweet as the constant rain that falls in Forks, Washington. A voice that made my heart skip a beat even if all it uttered was a single unimportant word.

I turned around to look at him, straight in those crisp coal black eyes, it sent a shiver down my spine. The thought, the meaning behind their color caused my stomach to do back flips and made me dizzy.

"Edward, I need some time alone." I could hear my voice as if I were a third person in the deserted hospital waiting room up in the ICU.

"Do you want me to come over tonight?" His voice was shaken and his skin was even paler than its usual white.

"No."

The answer was simple, but even it's simplicity couldn't protect him from it's deeper meaning. I didn't want him with me. For a moment _I_ even thought myself insane. But I needed some time, a moment to think, breathe, and pray that everything would be okay.

I looked over at Charlie. His body blood stained and bruised, all but dead or undead. The sight made my eyes burn, the overwhelming guilt building upon an unstable structure that I knew as my heart. Was it selfish of me to love a vampire? Were these the consequences?

"Bella, I think you need-"Edward was interrupted by his father, Carlisle.

Carlisle's sandy blond hair looked as if his hands had been running through for most of the night, his body looked word down and he looked anxious. I could only imagine what his news would do to me.

"Charlie is going to be all right, but he has to stay here for a few weeks." In a way the news comforted me. Charlie would be safe here. But deep inside something was tangled, a disturbing, unfamiliar feeling.

"Dr. Cullen, not to be rude, but I would appreciate it if you could arrange for my father to be seen by another doctor…" My voice was quieter than a whisper and the words cut my throat as they came out. I could see the understanding in Carlisle's eyes, just as well as I could see the terror in Edward's.

I recognized the feeling, it was nausea. I couldn't be around them right now. Not knowing what I did. It almost seemed as if Jacob's disgust for vampires had over taken me on a less extreme level.

"I'll see what I can do for you Ms. Swan." The formality made Edward's face twist into a sour expression as if he had eaten a lemon.

"Thank you." I wanted to cry. How could I be so awful to them? " I think I'll go home for tonight and be back to see him in the morning."

"I think it would be best if you stayed away for a little while. I'll have Dr. Gerandy call you when you father wakes up."

I nodded, happy to oblige. I hated seeing Charlie like this.

I would wait-alone- until Charlie was awake and then I would do my best to make it up to him. I wasn't sure what was causing the guilt inside me, but I had an idea. I would have to wait and see if I was right…


	2. Home is where the dark is

My truck covered all noise coming from the outside world, creating a wall between me and reality. The water on the road splashed onto my windshield making tear drops that mimicked my own as they fell down the glass. I thought of Edward's face, the icy stone look that engulfed his features and caused my heart more grief. I loved him more than anything in the world, but my mind didn't want to cooperate with my heart. As it yelled for me to distance myself my heart tried desperately to pull me closer to him.

I knew it wasn't his fault, it was mine. Victoria was here for me and me alone. If it wasn't for me Charlie would be safe right now. He would be coming home from work into our house and he would make an inedible concoction for dinner, then he would sit in that ridiculous recliner of his and watch the game. Then tomorrow he would go fishing with some of his friends, he would be talking to Billy Black because they would still be friends even though Jake was a wolf because it wouldn't matter. Charlie's foolish daughter would be with her mother in Jacksonville causing no trouble at all, boy friendless and brainy she would complete high school as a normal boring 18 year old. It sounded so good, but deep down inside I was selfish, happy that I had come to Forks, happy to be in love with a vampire, happy to be clueless when it came to my father's health. The latter being because I was terrified.

I stepped into the mud as I climbed out of my truck, the goo sticking to my shoes. As I walked into the house I removed the extra key and locked the front door. After that I walked all over the house locking every window and every door I could find. I knew he would come even though I asked him not to, but I was prepared in a way he could never imagine.

I pulled on a pair of sweats and a ratty old t-shirt, pulling myself further into a funk that surrounded me like fog. I climbed into bed and found myself in an empty dream, an inky black tomb for my soul to hide in.


	3. Cold dead heart

Edward:

I went to find the extra key first, but it was missing. Then I went to her window, thinking it would be open, instead I found it locked. I could hear her uneven breathing and smell her tears as she cried even in sleep. She mumbled words I couldn't understand, and more than likely didn't want to understand. I was worried about her; deep in the heart that I new still resided in my chest I could feel her pain. And even though I couldn't read her mind, I knew what she was thinking. The one thing that most humans think as soon as they see us: danger.

I had the urge to leave again, maybe now she could get over me now that a part of her hated me, even if she herself wouldn't admit it. I couldn't leave however, for one I was too selfish to let her go and for two, I had made a promise that I wouldn't leave her again and no matter how much I thought about breaking it I knew I never could.

"Edward." I heard her mumble and then scream as her nightmare progressed. All I wanted to do was hold her and spare her this misery, to protect her from reality. The reality that made me what I am; a blood drinker.

I walked to the opposite side of the house; I could see a small light seeping from the kitchen window, like a snake it slithered into the darkness. I knew Bella too well for her own good; she forgot to lock the kitchen window. At first my decision was easy; I would go in and comfort her. But my mind reminded me of the incident in the waiting room today.

"No." She said to me. She told me for the first time to stay away from her. Not in so many words, but I can take a hint.

In the end my selfish excuse of a mind turned the circumstances around so that my being there was what was best for Bella. I slipped quietly through the pitifully small window and made my way up the stairs.

I could hear her through the solid oak door, tossing and turning, every once in a while moaning. I let my head rest against the wood, listening to her breath and inhaling the sweet smell of her presence. I was hopeless without her, absolutely and completely lost. So much for a big scary vampire, there goes my ego. I think I'll live however; as long as she's with me.

Her breath became rapid and I could hear her blood rushing faster through her veins. I opened the door then, rushing to her side as she began to kick violently and scream out jumbled words. I tried to hold her, but it was as if she had found this hidden strength somewhere in her nightmares; a strength that made it hard for me to calm her.

"NO!" She screamed.

Suddenly I can see what she is dreaming, a horrific and uncensored version of me, of what I really am. A vampire, with a cold dead heart…

I ran out of the room as fast as I could unable to control myself; I ran and ran through the bleak, familiar forests of hell.


	4. Nightmare

I awoke from a dark dream, frightened by what I had seen. For the first time since he had admitted to his … difference, I had seen him as society would have seen in a movie: Large white fangs peeking out from beneath his beautiful full lips, a terrifying blood thirsty look coming from his burgundy-black eyes, and his skin pale as chalk reflecting the moonlight back into the sky.

"Bella," He whispered in a less than beautiful voice. A voice I didn't recognize in its ugly sharpness. "Welcome Bella."

Caught in my throat was a bloodcurdling scream, and the last thing I wanted him to think about was blood.

When I opened my eyes, I realized that I had mad a huge mess of my room. All my blankets were on the floor and I had knocked a glass of water off my nightstand making the comforter sopping wet. Sweat leaked from every pore on my body, giving everything a bitter smell and making my body sticky. I stood to go clean my self up when I smelled an overwhelmingly sweet smell; Edward's smell.

He had been here while I was sleeping, but how did he get in? I should have known he would find away to get in here, I always forgot

I walked quietly to the edge of the stairs trying to catch a glimpse of the other person who I knew was in the house. I saw his large figure right away, trying despratly to be quiet he fumbled around my house, for what i have no idea.

"Jacob?" He turned quickly, startled by my appearence and from what I could see, dissapointed in his weakness towards me. "Jacob! What are you doing here?" excitment coated my voice even in my bitter mood.

I ran down the stairs to greet him, but ended up in his arms as I tripped on one of the floorboards. My cheeks felt hot even against his steaming wearwolf skin. I embraced him full on, I think thats what freaked him out the most, although the sobbing could've done it too. He wiped my tears with his big tan thumb and looked down at me with those beautiful sharp brown eyes of his.

"Isabella Swan, you are hopeless you know that?" His smile was weak in the dim light form the kitchen. "How did you hear me?"

"I was awake..." His eyes were gentel and in a way, completely knowing even though I had explained nothing to him.

"How are you?" His voice held an emotion I didn't understand.

"Shouldn't you be asking how Charlie is?" I couldn't look up at him, something inside me made me feel guilty even though Jacob would never blame me.

"No, I've heard about Charlie's condition all over town. I want to know what it's like back stage with the patient who is able to feel the pain."

"In truth, I feel as though I am the only monster around here-"

"Bella-"

"Let me finish." I had to get it out."It was my selfishness that got Charlie into this mess. I love Edward..." My breath caught in my throat and I started to sobb harder than I had been before. "I don't know what to do...I just don't know."

Jacob pulled me to his chest and my face rubbed against his soft cotton t-shirt.

"Shhhh. Bella, it wasn't your fault, it wasn't your fault at all." He picked me up and carried me to my bed tucking me in and whispering in his husky voice. "Sleep Bella. Just sleep."

I closed my eyes expecting to see my minds perception of Edward, but instead all I saw was the monster _I_ could be.


End file.
